In My Room

In the fall of 1989, Janell Zange arrived at Wartburg College, fresh from a life lived in Algonquin, Illinoios. With her she brought koala bedding she had purchased at a discount store, an alarm clock, 4 teal crates that doubled as a way to carry items and serve as shelves, a blue rug previously used by her brother, snapshots from home, a large white teddy bear, and a small stuffed dog. Being late in August, she carried clothes that were more suited for summer than for fall, hypothesizing that she wouldn't need anything warmer until Parent's weekend (she was wrong).

Knowing she was starting her career in college, her parents had furnished her with a credit card to use for emergency purposes only. This, she followed to the letter as she did so many other things. It was expected that she would follow all the rules (and she did mostly, except for that time when . . . . ). Oh and those 4 consecutive parking tickets from parking in the loading zone.

She brought with her a heavy expectation that she would finish college in four years time. She also brought with her stories and tales from her older siblings and their time in college. There was no question that she would finish college. Having 3 older siblings and parents who were educators, there didn't seem to be an option one way or the other. Some of her earliest memories were her parents saying, "When you go to college. . . ." There was never an "if."

That is not to say that there was ever a question in her mind that this is what she wanted. She carried with her the dreams from childhood of being a teacher. Memories of "playing school" in her bedroom linger to this day. It never seemed to be a stretch to her to major in elementary education with endorsements in science and reading. This was the plan and she would stick to it for the most part, adding a chemistry major in her second year at college.

Getting an education was only part of the dream she carried though. She also had her life planned out. She would get her degree, teach in a small community for a few years, where she would meet her husband. After a few years of teaching, she would start to work on her master's degree and eventually her Ed.D. so that she could teach future teachers in a college setting. There were no plans to marry the boyfriend she carried into college, a boyfriend that was picked up during the summer, a token grasp that somebody could like her besides the previous boy in her life.

It was in this room that she made new friends, developed a sense of who she really wanted to be, and learned some level of independence. It was in this room that she learned soon after coming to college that she had mono and would miss at least a week's worth of classes. It was in this room that the boyfriend wanted to date other people. It was in this room that she learned other boys could like her too. It was an amazing revelation.

In this room she carried her relief at having earned a scholarship. She carried the necessity to earn a 3.0 GPA each semester during her time at school. It was an additional relief that that goal was easily reached, despite a challenging courseload the first semester.

Beyond this room, she carried the memories of her first year at Wartburg. She still carries the memory of the dream where she realized she loved one Dan Wright, waking up and seeing a note on her door, signed "love" as well. Beyond this room, she still carries the memories of life's plan gone awry, but only for the better. She carries with her the friends that she made during her freshman year, the laughter and good times, and the chance to become who she always wanted to be.